"When Things Go Wrong"
Three ways to find comfort in the midst of trouble.
Sermon Preached by
The Rev. Dr. Barry Day
Sunday, October 20, 2002
I'm sure you all realize that some of the world's greatest truths and insights are communicated in those simple, beautiful stories of our childhood. If you were raised on Aesop's Fables or Hans Christian Andersen or even Mother Goose - consider yourself fortunate. In modern times it's Dr. Seuss or our own Canadian writer, Robert Munsch. A lot of profound wisdom lies just below the surface of those so-called "childrens" stories.
One of my favourites, by Judith Viorst, is the story of "Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." It goes like this:
I went to sleep with gum in my mouth, and now there's gum in my hair, and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running, and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast, Anthony found a Corvette Stingray car kit in his breakfast cereal box, and Nick found a junior undercover agent code ring in his breakfast cereal box, but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal.
I think I'll move to Australia.
In the car pool, Mrs. Gibson let Becky have a seat by the window. Audrey and Elliott got seats by the window, too. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said, if I don't get a seat by the window I am going to be carsick. No one even answered. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At school, Mrs. Dickens liked Paul's picture of the sailboat better than my picture of the invisible castle; at singing time she said I sang too loud; at counting time she said I left out 16. Who needs 16? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I could tell because Paul said I wasn't his best friend anymore. He said that Philip Parker was his best friend, and that Albert Moyo was his next-best friend, and that I was only his third-best friend.
I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Paul. I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia.
There were two cupcakes in Philip Parker's lunch bag; and Albert got a Hershey bar with almonds; and Paul's mother gave him a piece of jelly roll that had little coconut sprinkles on top. Guess whose mother forgot to put in dessert? It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That's what it was, because after school my mom took us all to the dentist and Dr. Fields found a cavity just in me. Come back next week and I'll fix it, said Dr. Fields.
Next week, I said, I'm going to Australia.
On the way downstairs the elevator door closed on my foot, and while we were waiting for my mom to go get the car Anthony made me fall where it was muddy and then when I started crying because of the mud, Nick said I was a cry baby, and while I was punching Nick for saying cry baby, my mom came back with the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting.
I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I told everybody, but no one even answered.
So then I went to the shoe store to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes, but then the shoe man said, we're all sold out. They made me buy plain old white ones, but they can't make me wear them!
When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn't play with his copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was as careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with his phone, but I think I called Australia. My dad said please don't pick him up anymore.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
There were lima beans for dinner, and I hate lima beans. There was kissing on TV, and I hate kissing. My bath was too hot. I got soap in my eyes. My marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pyjamas. I hate my railroad-train pyjamas!
When I went to bed, Nick took back the pillow he said I could keep, and the Mickey Mouse night light burned out, and I bit my tongue. The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me. It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
My mom says some days are like that... even in Australia!"
* * * * *
Well, we all have days like that, don't we? Sometimes those days even stretch into weeks and months. Indeed some people feel that their whole lives are lived under a black cloud that follows them wherever they go. And even those of us for whom life has been mostly smooth sailing are only too familiar with Murphy's Law, which states: If anything can go wrong, it will!
I want to speak today especially to those in our midst who may be hurting because things haven't been going the way they had hoped. And that probably includes every last one of us at some point in life!
No matter how carefully we make our plans, something can so easily come along and spoil them. You plan a marriage and a family with the dream of living happily ever after… but you discover that not all your dreams will come true. You have hopes of a career and a future in a chosen field, but circumstances slam the door in your face. You make your plans for a pleasant and secure retirement only to see your investments evaporate and your health deteriorate. You plan on happiness and end up with more disappointment and sorrow than you ever knew existed. You long for the taste of sweetness and success and get, instead, what the Bible calls "the taste of ashes."
Bad things happen - even to good people. And there aren't any easy answers to the question, "Why?" But I believe that there are some things that we can do, as people of faith, even when nothing seems to be going right.
1. One thing we can do is to keep our perspective.
Our Scripture lesson this morning, from the 14th Chapter of the Book of Exodus, describes a dramatic and dreadful moment in the history of the Children of Israel. For years they had been slaves in Egypt, but then God spoke to Moses saying, "I have seen the affliction of my people… and have heard their cries…and have seen their suffering." So God sent Moses to Pharaoh to say: "Let my people go!"
Pharaoh needed a bit of persuading - there's nothing quite like a plague of frogs or gnats or locusts or hailstones - but finally they were set free and on their way toward the Promised Land. However, they were no sooner on their way than Pharaoh changed his mind and sent his army after the Children of Israel… thousands of soldiers and horses and chariots… and they caught up to them and surrounded the Israelites at the shore of the Red Sea.
Talk about things going wrong! They went from bad to worse! Panic broke out in the camp of the Israelites. They accused Moses of leading them out of Egypt only to be slaughtered in the wilderness. Their great escape looked like it was going down the drain. But Moses stood up before all the people and said: "Fear not. Stand firm. And you will see the salvation of God this day!"
What a line! "STAND FIRM… AND SEE THE SALVATION OF THE LORD!" Sometimes we get so panicked and rattled when things don't go the way we think they should be going that we lose perspective - not only about the situation but also about ourselves. And just as an hysterical person sometimes needs a slap in the face to be brought back to reality, so we would do well to hear that sharp command that Moses gave to the panicking Children of Israel: "Stand firm! [Be still!] And see the salvation of the Lord!"
And, as you will recall, a way of salvation did open for them. To their utter amazement, the Red Sea parted before them, the Egyptian horses and chariots got mired in the mud, and the Children of Israel were once again on their way toward the Promised Land.
And so also for us, even in our moments of deepest distress, when nothing seems to be going right, by the grace of God there IS a way for those who have eyes to see. "Stand firm! And see the salvation of the Lord!" Or, as St. Paul said (Romans 8:28) "We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him."
2. A second thing we can do when things go wrong is to share our sense of hurt with someone else. Most of us, I am afraid, were raised in the "stiff upper lip" school of life; we tend to keep our problems to ourselves - particularly when things go wrong - when the best thing we could do would be to share it with someone else… someone who will listen and care and share.
Some of you will be familiar with the name of William Sloan Coffin. He was formerly the minister of the famous Riverside Church in New York City - one of the biggest and most beautiful churches in North America. I met Bill Coffin a number years ago when I was studying at Yale University and he was the chaplain there.
Bill Coffin has recently written his autobiography and in it he refers to the tremendous pain he went through when his first marriage broke up and he and his wife were going through the process of divorce. Shortly after this had all happened he met an old friend, Rabbi Abraham Heschel, one of the great Jewish philosophers and scholars of the 20th century.
They were walking down a Manhattan street together and Heschel said to him: "I understand, my friend, that you have been going through some suffering."
Coffin nodded and said, "Yes, and it's been hell. It still is."
Heschel said, "You should have called me."
Bill answered, "You were in Los Angeles all summer."
But Heschel persisted, "You still should have called me."
Coffin said, "I didn't want to bother you."
Rabbi Heschel said quietly, "I could have helped you."
Coffin was getting irritated and he said, "Okay, then, tell me how could you have helped?"
Heschel said, "I would have told you about my father, the great Hasidic rabbi, may God bless his memory. He, too, was divorced. You see, you Christians are so troubled by your perfectionism. That's always your undoing."
Then, Coffin writes, "He continued to talk in this way and I felt the tears start down my cheeks. He was so right! A Jew, reminding me, a Christian, that our salvation lies not in being sinless, but in being forgiven. And without pausing, he wiped my face with his handkerchief and assured me that God still loves me, even as he did… and maybe even more."
When things go wrong to share the burden with a friend is one of life's great healing opportunities - both for you and for the friend.
As many of you know, I live near Peterborough. Actually I live near the little village of Keene, on the top of a hill overlooking the north shore of Rice Lake. About seven or eight miles away from my home, in a small private cemetery on the historic Pengelly family farm, there is a tombstone marking the final resting place of Joseph Scriven. As a young university graduate, Joseph Scriven came from Ireland to be private tutor to the children of the Pengelly family. In his personal life - both in the Old Country and here in Canada - he experienced one tragedy after another. Joseph Scriven was a deeply committed Christian and somehow he survived and coped with all his trials.
Most Canadians hardly know his name, but tourists come from all over the world to pause and reflect at his grave… because Joseph Scriven was the one who wrote the words:
What a friend we have in Jesus.
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer.
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.
Be still! (Preferably with a friend). And see the salvation of the Lord!
3. When things go wrong there is still one other thing I would suggest we do: and that is to remember our basic Christian faith in the ultimate triumph of life over death, of light over darkness, of joy over sorrow. And to remember that we follow a Saviour who gave himself to be a sign of hope to all who have felt themselves in the grip of despair.
Are you feeling hard done by? Hurting because nothing seems to be going right? Wondering if your pain is ever going to end? You're not alone! Remember the one who cried out from the Cross, "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?"
Do you feel that life has handed you one bitter cup after another? That you don't know how much more you can handle? You're not alone! Remember Jesus' words: "Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done!"
Are you troubled about the road that you have to travel? Apprehensive about the way that lies ahead? You're not alone! Knowing full well what lay ahead of him, still Jesus "set his face steadfastly to go to Jerusalem."
There is a little poem I learned many years ago and it has helped me often. Perhaps some of you know it, too. It goes like this:
God has not promised
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways
all our lives through;
God has not promised
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.
But God has promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labour,
light for the way,
grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.
Some of you may be feeling that nothing is going right in your life just now. There were times when even Jesus felt that way. Yet, by the grace of God, and with a faith that assures us that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we need fear no evil, we move forward.
I remind you all of the words of St. Paul: "That no circumstance of life or death, of things present or things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature; nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God as we have come to know it through Christ Jesus."
"Stand firm! And see the salvation of the Lord!" Even though at the moment you may be having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
This is a verbatim transcription of the original sermon.